Mu rukundo byaba hagati y’abashakanye cyangwa se abakundana batarabana haba igihe habaho kutumvikana, kudahuza, gukosa no gukoserezwa nuko mukaba mwafata umwanzuro wo gutandukana nyamara nyuma y’igihe runaka umwe muri mwe akumva akeneye kongera kubyutsa uwo mubano.
Ushobora kuba ari wowe wakosherejwe (aha kuwubyutsa biroroha kuko bigusaba gutanga imbabazi gusa) cyangwa ari wowe wakosheje, aha rero kugirango umubano ugaruke hari ibyo usabwa kwitaho nkuko tugiye kubiganiraho.
Kuri ubu hari uburyo bwinshi bwo kuganira. Telefoni, imbuga nkoranyambaga…
Witangira ikiganiro n’amagambo menshi, oya. Mwandikire ka mwaramutse, mwiriwe, utegereze ko agusubiza. Natagusubiza ntiwandike ubundi butumwa, ahubwo rindira hashire igihe uzongere wandike.
Niba bishoboka unyure aho akorera, umusuhuze wigendere. Gusa uzirinde kumusanga mu rugo, kuko ushobora gusubiza ibintu irudubi
Ashobora guhita akubaza ati ese ko twatandukanye, uranshakaho iki? Witangira guca inkereramucyamo ngo umere nk’aho utazi icyo ushaka. Vuga ushize amanga ko wifuza ko mwasubirana, ko ushaka ko mwongera kuba nkuko byahoze mbere. Aha uhite umusaba ko yaguha umwanya mukaganira birambuye imbonankubone
Kuba wifuza ko musubirana ni uko hari icyuho ufite muri wowe. Ushaka urukundo nyine. Banza nawe ugaragaze umutima w’urukundo, umwereke ko umwitayeho kandi niba hari n’ibyo washinjwaga kudakora ubikore kuko nicyo gihe cyo kubigaragaza.
Mujya gutandukana mwashenye urutindo rwabahuzaga. Ubu rero nicyo gihe ngo wongere ushake inkingi nshya kandi zikomeye. Ibuka ko ahahise harangiye, wubake ibishya kandi bizaramba, wita akanya wiyibutsa aho byapfiriye mbere ahubwo wumare ushaka uko ahazaza haba heza
Mu biganiro hari igihe hashobora kuzamo ibitakunyuze, gushinjwa n’ibyo utakoze, nyamara niba ushaka gusubukura umubano ibuka ko imfura ishinjagira ishira. Birengeho, ureke kwihagararaho, kwisobanura ahubwo buri gihe ugaragaze ko ushaka impinduka.
Mu biganiro byo gusubukura umubano, wikumva ko uko ubishaka ariko bigomba kugenda kuko nibitaba uko wabishakaga niho uzababara cyane. ahubwo wowe muhe umwanya akubwire uko abyumva, mukomeze kuganira mufate umwanzuro mwumvikanye
Haba kuzitanga cyangwa kuzisaba, umubano wose wubakirwa ku mbabazi nyazo. Kuzitanga bitumauruhuka muri wowe kimwe nuko kuzisaba nabyo bigutura umutwaro
Ibuka ko Nubwo yaba ari we waguhemukiye, ariko se wisuzumye wasanga wowe uri misecye igoroye? Rero Nubwo yakoze amakosa aremereye ukananirwa kwihangana mugashwana, nawe wimureherezaho umutwaro wose, ahubwo niba wifuza koko ko mwongera gusubirana ni umwanya wo gufatanya si umwanya wo kumuha umutwaro wose ngo awikorere wenyine.
Niba utangiye urugamba rwo gusana ibyangijwe mbere, wibikora ufite gushidikanya ko ntacyo bizatanga. Oya ahubwo wowe bijyemo wizeye ko bizagenda neza. Yego si ihame ariko nanone gutangira urugendo utizeye ko uzarusoza byaba ari ukwangiza umwanya wawe. Uko ubijyamo n’icyizere niho uzaha undi umwanya wo kubona ko wamaramaje noneho.
Ushobora kwishuka ko nuba uko ashaka aribwo uzabasha kongera kumwigarurira ariko aho waba wibeshye. Niba hari amakosa wakosora bikore ariko ntuzishushanye ngo wigire intama ukiri ikirura. Ngo ujye usiba message wandikiwe cyangwa se usibe abo mwahamagaranye ngo urashaka kumwereka yuko ntawe mukivugana wundi, cyangwa kumubeshya ko uraye mu kazi kandi uri mu kabari…
Navumbura ko wishushanyaga bizaba bibi kurushaho
Ntabwo gusubukura umubano bivuze ko ugiye kuba kinnyogorero, ngo ube insina ngufi. Oya ahubwo imipaka iracyari ngombwa kandi mu gihe irenzweho ubigaragaze. Gusa ubigaragaze mu buryo bwiza kandi ucyahe mu rukundo, nta guhangana bijemo.
Uko byamera kose, kora uko ushoboye ikiganiro kigere aho ushaka. Kandi niba ubona biri kugana heza, wihita wihutisha ibintu ahubwo ikiganiro gisubike, umusabe we akwihere ikindi gihe mwazongera kubonana mukanaganira (iyo ari uwo mutarabana) naho niba ari uwo mwabanaga niko kanya ko gusubirana.
Dusoza
Kongera gusana umubano wangiritse biragoye ndetse benshi babona ko bidashoboka. Ushobora gutera izi ntambwe zose ntibigire icyo bitanga rwose pe. Ntuzihebe ngo wumva ko isi ikurangiriyeho ahubwo ubuzima burakomeza kandi iyo umuryango umwe wifunze haba hari undi ufunguye.
Ushobora kuba ari wowe wakosherejwe (aha kuwubyutsa biroroha kuko bigusaba gutanga imbabazi gusa) cyangwa ari wowe wakosheje, aha rero kugirango umubano ugaruke hari ibyo usabwa kwitaho nkuko tugiye kubiganiraho.
Tangiza ikiganiro kirimo ikinyabupfura
Kuri ubu hari uburyo bwinshi bwo kuganira. Telefoni, imbuga nkoranyambaga…
Witangira ikiganiro n’amagambo menshi, oya. Mwandikire ka mwaramutse, mwiriwe, utegereze ko agusubiza. Natagusubiza ntiwandike ubundi butumwa, ahubwo rindira hashire igihe uzongere wandike.
Niba bishoboka unyure aho akorera, umusuhuze wigendere. Gusa uzirinde kumusanga mu rugo, kuko ushobora gusubiza ibintu irudubi
Wica ku ruhande
Ashobora guhita akubaza ati ese ko twatandukanye, uranshakaho iki? Witangira guca inkereramucyamo ngo umere nk’aho utazi icyo ushaka. Vuga ushize amanga ko wifuza ko mwasubirana, ko ushaka ko mwongera kuba nkuko byahoze mbere. Aha uhite umusaba ko yaguha umwanya mukaganira birambuye imbonankubone
Tanga icyo wifuza guhabwa
Kuba wifuza ko musubirana ni uko hari icyuho ufite muri wowe. Ushaka urukundo nyine. Banza nawe ugaragaze umutima w’urukundo, umwereke ko umwitayeho kandi niba hari n’ibyo washinjwaga kudakora ubikore kuko nicyo gihe cyo kubigaragaza.
Ubaka ikiraro kandi ukigendereho
Mujya gutandukana mwashenye urutindo rwabahuzaga. Ubu rero nicyo gihe ngo wongere ushake inkingi nshya kandi zikomeye. Ibuka ko ahahise harangiye, wubake ibishya kandi bizaramba, wita akanya wiyibutsa aho byapfiriye mbere ahubwo wumare ushaka uko ahazaza haba heza
Ba imfura
Mu biganiro hari igihe hashobora kuzamo ibitakunyuze, gushinjwa n’ibyo utakoze, nyamara niba ushaka gusubukura umubano ibuka ko imfura ishinjagira ishira. Birengeho, ureke kwihagararaho, kwisobanura ahubwo buri gihe ugaragaze ko ushaka impinduka.
Wikibwira ko bigomba kugenda uko ushaka
Mu biganiro byo gusubukura umubano, wikumva ko uko ubishaka ariko bigomba kugenda kuko nibitaba uko wabishakaga niho uzababara cyane. ahubwo wowe muhe umwanya akubwire uko abyumva, mukomeze kuganira mufate umwanzuro mwumvikanye
Imbabazi ni ngombwa
Haba kuzitanga cyangwa kuzisaba, umubano wose wubakirwa ku mbabazi nyazo. Kuzitanga bitumauruhuka muri wowe kimwe nuko kuzisaba nabyo bigutura umutwaro
Irinde kumusunikiraho byose
Ibuka ko Nubwo yaba ari we waguhemukiye, ariko se wisuzumye wasanga wowe uri misecye igoroye? Rero Nubwo yakoze amakosa aremereye ukananirwa kwihangana mugashwana, nawe wimureherezaho umutwaro wose, ahubwo niba wifuza koko ko mwongera gusubirana ni umwanya wo gufatanya si umwanya wo kumuha umutwaro wose ngo awikorere wenyine.
Irememo icyizere
Niba utangiye urugamba rwo gusana ibyangijwe mbere, wibikora ufite gushidikanya ko ntacyo bizatanga. Oya ahubwo wowe bijyemo wizeye ko bizagenda neza. Yego si ihame ariko nanone gutangira urugendo utizeye ko uzarusoza byaba ari ukwangiza umwanya wawe. Uko ubijyamo n’icyizere niho uzaha undi umwanya wo kubona ko wamaramaje noneho.
Ba wowe nyawe
Ushobora kwishuka ko nuba uko ashaka aribwo uzabasha kongera kumwigarurira ariko aho waba wibeshye. Niba hari amakosa wakosora bikore ariko ntuzishushanye ngo wigire intama ukiri ikirura. Ngo ujye usiba message wandikiwe cyangwa se usibe abo mwahamagaranye ngo urashaka kumwereka yuko ntawe mukivugana wundi, cyangwa kumubeshya ko uraye mu kazi kandi uri mu kabari…
Navumbura ko wishushanyaga bizaba bibi kurushaho
Umupaka ni ngombwa
Ntabwo gusubukura umubano bivuze ko ugiye kuba kinnyogorero, ngo ube insina ngufi. Oya ahubwo imipaka iracyari ngombwa kandi mu gihe irenzweho ubigaragaze. Gusa ubigaragaze mu buryo bwiza kandi ucyahe mu rukundo, nta guhangana bijemo.
- Haranira kugera ku ntego
Uko byamera kose, kora uko ushoboye ikiganiro kigere aho ushaka. Kandi niba ubona biri kugana heza, wihita wihutisha ibintu ahubwo ikiganiro gisubike, umusabe we akwihere ikindi gihe mwazongera kubonana mukanaganira (iyo ari uwo mutarabana) naho niba ari uwo mwabanaga niko kanya ko gusubirana.
Dusoza
Kongera gusana umubano wangiritse biragoye ndetse benshi babona ko bidashoboka. Ushobora gutera izi ntambwe zose ntibigire icyo bitanga rwose pe. Ntuzihebe ngo wumva ko isi ikurangiriyeho ahubwo ubuzima burakomeza kandi iyo umuryango umwe wifunze haba hari undi ufunguye.
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