Usanga ingo nyinshi zubatse mu manegeka, abandi bakakubwira ko ariko zubakwa. Nubwo ntawe ushaka yifuza kuzasenya, ariko hari zimwe mu mpamvu usanga zitubaho tukiri abasore nuko nyuma yo gushaka ugasanga biteye kutishimira urugo, ari byo bituma bamwe bahitamo kubivamo, abandi bakabana batishimiranye. Ni zimwe kandi mu mpamvu zitera amakimbirane mu ngo, guhohoterana bya hato na hato n’izindi ngaruka mbi nyinshi
Reka turebe bimwe muri byo kandi icyiza ni uko ari ibintu byakosoka.
Ikintu kiza ku isonga mu bituma ingo nyinshi zigira ikibazo ni imibonano. Usanga mbere yo gushaka, abenshi tuba twarabanje gukora imibonano, tukanayikorana n’abantu batandukanye. Nubwo ari abasore n’inkumi babikora ariko ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko abasore aribo babikorana n’abakobwa benshi kuruta uko abakobwa babikorana n’abasore benshi (ushobora gusanga umusore aryamana n’abakobwa 10 nyamara bo ari we gusa bayikorana nta handi bajya).
Ibi bituma aho gutekereza icyakomeza umubano ahubwo dutekereza uko twakora neza imibonano, uko twakemeza. Abasore aho baganira ugize atya ati nyiranaka naramuriye (nkuko babivuga) abandi bahita bamubaza bati ese wasanze aryoshye mwana? Byumvikane ko icyo bitayeho Atari uko babanye ahubwo uko bashimishanya mu buriri.
Aho gushaka umugore mwiza wakubaka urugo, ugashaka umugore mwiza mu buriri.
Kandi abakobwa nabo barabyishimira kuko iyo umubwiye uti rwose mukunzi wandyoheye, ubutaha ashaka uko azakuryohera kurenzaho, ku buryo mbese azakubera uwa mbere.
Urugo rwubakiye ku mibonano ntirushobora kuramba.
Shaka umugore/umugabo kubera imico ye, imyitwarire ye ntumushakire ko aryoshya imibonano.
Aha si amafaranga gusa, ahubwo ikintu cyose kijyanye n’ubutunzi. Mu bihe byashize wasangaga iyi ngingo ifata abakobwa kurusha abasore gusa uko iminsi ihita usanga bihindura isura. Hari n’uturere tumwe usanga mbere yo gushyingirwa umukobwa asabwa amafaranga runaka kugirango umusore abone asabe, akwe.
Kurebera ku butunzi ntibyakubaka urugo kuko ubutunzi buraza bukagenda, amafaranga arashira, indege zirashya, muri macye ni ibintu utahamya ko uzaba ukibifite n’umwaka utaha kuko bucya bucyana ayandi.
Nibyo koko muratunze, ariko agasuzuguro, kurwana, intonganya, kubura ubwisanzure nibyo biranga urugo rwanyu. Ubu se uba wungutse iki kurya byiza uko ushaka ariko ukabirya ubitamo amarira?
Yego nanone aho kuririra muri nyakatsi waririra mu muturirwa, gusa burya nanone iyo hari urukundo, ivundi riranezeza.
Yego nibyo aracyeye, arasa neza, arambara akaberwa ndetse azi no guhitamo ibyo yambara akajyanisha. Ibi bigatuma uvuga uti ntabanye n’uyu ntiryarema.
Ariko nyuma y’ibyo wari ukwiye no kwibaza uti mbese aranyubaha, ni uwo kwizerwa, ni umunyakuri, yubaha ibitekerezo byanjye, ese nitubana azaba umufasha aho kuba umutegetsi cyangwa umutwaro?
Imico niyo ifite agaciro kuko ubutoni burashukana kandi uburanga bwiza ni ubusa.
Aha benshi bakunda kuvuga ngo idini ry’umugore ni umugabo nyamara hari benshi batabana kubera badahuje imyizerere abandi bakabana kubera ko ngo basengera hamwe, baririmbana muri korali, uyu ari uwo kwa pasiteri undi ari uwo kwa muhanuzi n’ibindi nk’ibyo.
Ese kuba umuntu musengana byonyine birahagije ngo ubone ko azakubera umufasha mwiza? Kuba aririmba agahogoza, kuba ahanura, akerekwa ndetse akabwiriza bakihana, kuba ari umukuru wa korali, w’itorero; si byo bimugira umugabo cyangwa umugore wizihiye kuko bamwe bagaragara neza imbere y’abandi nyamara bagera mu ngo zabo bakabica bigacika, bakaba intare n’ibirura.
Hari ibindi binyuranye bishobora gutuma ubana n’umuntu. Ku isonga hazamo gutera/guterwa inda. Ukaba aho ufite inshuti nyinshi utaramenya ngo ni nde tuzabana, cyangwa se waranamaze kumuhitamo ariko mu kanya gato ugasanga uwo utateganyaga niwe mugiye kubyarana. Kubera igitsure, igitutu, kubura uko ugira, n’ibindi binyuranye ukemera mukabana.
Ikindi ni ukuba uwo mugiye kubana hari izindi nyungu wowe umushakaho atazi: umuryango avukamo ukize, ukomeye se, kuba umwizeyeho kuzagufasha kubona akazi se, kuzagufasha kubona ubwenegihugu runaka, visa, n’ibindi binyuranye. Aha na ho iyo ibyo washakaga ubibonye usanga icyari urukundo gisimbuwe no gushwana
Kubaka urugo si ugukina, si ibyo ukora utahisemo ahubwo ni ishuri winjiramo kandi ni umwanzuro wa nyuma w’ubuzima bwawe. Guhitamo nabi bishobora kugutera kuzicuza mu hazaza hawe, kimwe nuko gukurikira ikintu runaka iyo kibuze cyangwa gishize ruhita rushonga rugakura nk’isabune. URUKUNDO gusa nirwo rwakabaye ishingiro rya byose kuko uwo ukunda uko yamera kose urabyakira iyo akennye murakenana, iyo arwaye uramurwaza, mbese muri macye mubana mu bibi no mu byiza.
Reka turebe bimwe muri byo kandi icyiza ni uko ari ibintu byakosoka.
IMIBONANO
Ikintu kiza ku isonga mu bituma ingo nyinshi zigira ikibazo ni imibonano. Usanga mbere yo gushaka, abenshi tuba twarabanje gukora imibonano, tukanayikorana n’abantu batandukanye. Nubwo ari abasore n’inkumi babikora ariko ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko abasore aribo babikorana n’abakobwa benshi kuruta uko abakobwa babikorana n’abasore benshi (ushobora gusanga umusore aryamana n’abakobwa 10 nyamara bo ari we gusa bayikorana nta handi bajya).
Ibi bituma aho gutekereza icyakomeza umubano ahubwo dutekereza uko twakora neza imibonano, uko twakemeza. Abasore aho baganira ugize atya ati nyiranaka naramuriye (nkuko babivuga) abandi bahita bamubaza bati ese wasanze aryoshye mwana? Byumvikane ko icyo bitayeho Atari uko babanye ahubwo uko bashimishanya mu buriri.
Aho gushaka umugore mwiza wakubaka urugo, ugashaka umugore mwiza mu buriri.
Kandi abakobwa nabo barabyishimira kuko iyo umubwiye uti rwose mukunzi wandyoheye, ubutaha ashaka uko azakuryohera kurenzaho, ku buryo mbese azakubera uwa mbere.
Urugo rwubakiye ku mibonano ntirushobora kuramba.
Shaka umugore/umugabo kubera imico ye, imyitwarire ye ntumushakire ko aryoshya imibonano.
AMAFARANGA
Aha si amafaranga gusa, ahubwo ikintu cyose kijyanye n’ubutunzi. Mu bihe byashize wasangaga iyi ngingo ifata abakobwa kurusha abasore gusa uko iminsi ihita usanga bihindura isura. Hari n’uturere tumwe usanga mbere yo gushyingirwa umukobwa asabwa amafaranga runaka kugirango umusore abone asabe, akwe.
Kurebera ku butunzi ntibyakubaka urugo kuko ubutunzi buraza bukagenda, amafaranga arashira, indege zirashya, muri macye ni ibintu utahamya ko uzaba ukibifite n’umwaka utaha kuko bucya bucyana ayandi.
Nibyo koko muratunze, ariko agasuzuguro, kurwana, intonganya, kubura ubwisanzure nibyo biranga urugo rwanyu. Ubu se uba wungutse iki kurya byiza uko ushaka ariko ukabirya ubitamo amarira?
Yego nanone aho kuririra muri nyakatsi waririra mu muturirwa, gusa burya nanone iyo hari urukundo, ivundi riranezeza.
UBURANGA
Yego nibyo aracyeye, arasa neza, arambara akaberwa ndetse azi no guhitamo ibyo yambara akajyanisha. Ibi bigatuma uvuga uti ntabanye n’uyu ntiryarema.
Ariko nyuma y’ibyo wari ukwiye no kwibaza uti mbese aranyubaha, ni uwo kwizerwa, ni umunyakuri, yubaha ibitekerezo byanjye, ese nitubana azaba umufasha aho kuba umutegetsi cyangwa umutwaro?
Imico niyo ifite agaciro kuko ubutoni burashukana kandi uburanga bwiza ni ubusa.
IMYIZERERE
Aha benshi bakunda kuvuga ngo idini ry’umugore ni umugabo nyamara hari benshi batabana kubera badahuje imyizerere abandi bakabana kubera ko ngo basengera hamwe, baririmbana muri korali, uyu ari uwo kwa pasiteri undi ari uwo kwa muhanuzi n’ibindi nk’ibyo.
Ese kuba umuntu musengana byonyine birahagije ngo ubone ko azakubera umufasha mwiza? Kuba aririmba agahogoza, kuba ahanura, akerekwa ndetse akabwiriza bakihana, kuba ari umukuru wa korali, w’itorero; si byo bimugira umugabo cyangwa umugore wizihiye kuko bamwe bagaragara neza imbere y’abandi nyamara bagera mu ngo zabo bakabica bigacika, bakaba intare n’ibirura.
IZINDI NYUNGU
Hari ibindi binyuranye bishobora gutuma ubana n’umuntu. Ku isonga hazamo gutera/guterwa inda. Ukaba aho ufite inshuti nyinshi utaramenya ngo ni nde tuzabana, cyangwa se waranamaze kumuhitamo ariko mu kanya gato ugasanga uwo utateganyaga niwe mugiye kubyarana. Kubera igitsure, igitutu, kubura uko ugira, n’ibindi binyuranye ukemera mukabana.
Ikindi ni ukuba uwo mugiye kubana hari izindi nyungu wowe umushakaho atazi: umuryango avukamo ukize, ukomeye se, kuba umwizeyeho kuzagufasha kubona akazi se, kuzagufasha kubona ubwenegihugu runaka, visa, n’ibindi binyuranye. Aha na ho iyo ibyo washakaga ubibonye usanga icyari urukundo gisimbuwe no gushwana
DUSOZA
Kubaka urugo si ugukina, si ibyo ukora utahisemo ahubwo ni ishuri winjiramo kandi ni umwanzuro wa nyuma w’ubuzima bwawe. Guhitamo nabi bishobora kugutera kuzicuza mu hazaza hawe, kimwe nuko gukurikira ikintu runaka iyo kibuze cyangwa gishize ruhita rushonga rugakura nk’isabune. URUKUNDO gusa nirwo rwakabaye ishingiro rya byose kuko uwo ukunda uko yamera kose urabyakira iyo akennye murakenana, iyo arwaye uramurwaza, mbese muri macye mubana mu bibi no mu byiza.
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