Mwarakundanye ndetse nyuma yo kubitekerezaho mwemeranya kubana. Imbere y’imiryango n’inshuti mwemera ko umwe aba umugabo undi akaba umugore.
Nyuma yo kubana ibintu ntibigenze uko mwabyifuzaga, nuko mugasubira imbere y’abahamije ko mwiyemeje kubana muti turifuza gutandukana.
Byaba byarakubayeho cyangwa se uzi uwo byabayeho, gutandukana n’uwo mwashakanye ntawe ubikora kuko abikunze ahubwo twabyita amaburakindi kuko ntawe ushinga urugo afite intego yo kuzarusenya (aramutse anabaho byaba ari uburwayi cyangwa amahano). Kugerageza ukagoragoza, ukihangana nibyo bibanza, niko zubakwa ukajya ubibwirwa kenshi, nyamara kwihangana kwawe iyo kurangiye, nta yandi mahitamo uretse gutandukana nuko buri wese agatangira ubundi buzima, aho ashobora kongera gushyingirwa cyangwa akigumira uko.
Ariko se kuki abantu batandukana? Buri wese mu batandukanye umubajije yakubwira icyabimuteye, aho ushobora kumva kitakabaye impamvu, nyamara burya nta wanga ibyiza arabibura.
Hano twagerageje gukusanya zimwe mu mpamvu zitera abashakanye gutandukana, ngo wowe ukibana n’uwo mwashakanye cyangwa uri mu myiteguro ubimenye hakiri kare uzabyirinde mu gihe cyose gishoboka maze nkuko iyo dusezerana tubivuga, muzatandukanywe n’urupfu.
1. Gucana inyuma
Iki ni cyo kiza ku isonga mu bisenya ingo nyinshi. Kenshi bitangira ari ubucuti busanzwe, ubushuti bwo kuganira, gusangira no kungurana ibitekerezo ariko nyuma ugasanga biganishije mu mubano uzasenya urugo. Benshi bitwaza ko hari icyo babuze ku bo bashakanye bagiye gushaka ahandi, abandi babikorera kwinezeza gusa ndetse hari n’ababiterwa nuko abo bashakanye barakaranyije. Gusa icyabitera cyose si ikintu kitakosoka, kuko gucana inyuma uretse gusenya urugo binangiza umutungo, utaretse n’indwara zinyuranye zishobora kuhaturuka.
2. Umutungo
Ku byerekeye umutungo biza mu mpande zinyuranye. Bamwe babana bakennye bamara gukira hakazamo amacakubiri, abandi bakabana bakize bagira ibyago byo gukena nabyo bikabateranya. Ku rundi ruhande ariko hanazamo uko umutungo ukoreshwa. Gusesagura, kwita ku muryango umwe akomokamo undi ukirengagizwa, kutumvikana ku mikoreshereze y’amafaranga na byo bishobora kuba impamvu yaganisha ku gutandukana.
3. Kutaganira
Uko iterambere riza rizana ibyiza nyamara ntirisiga n’ibibi. Kimwe muri byo ni uko usanga abantu bahugira ku mbuga nkoranyambaga kurenza umwanya baha ibiganiro hagati yabo. Ugasanga umwe ataha mu mpera z’icyumweru gusa kubera gukorera kure y’umuryango, yanataha ugasanga yomatanye na terefoni, filimi se, umupira, akabari ugasanga aheruka kubwira uwo babana ko amukunda akimutereta. Ugasanga ntukimenya ibiryo byo mu rugo, n’ibindi. Ibi bitera uwo mubana kwigunga, bikurikirwa no kwibaza icyo akora aho bikaba byamutera guhitamo gutandukana. Nyamara aka ni akantu koroshye gukosora kuko nta cyiza nko kuganiriza uwo mwashakanye, kumenya uko yaramutse, gahunda afite, n’ibindi bituma niyo yaba ari kure yawe yumva ko muri kumwe.
4. Intonganya za buri gihe
Yego nibyo nta zibana zidakomanya amahembe kandi koko ahari abantu ntihabura urunturuntu gusa kutumvikana ku ngingo runaka ntibyagakwiriye kubyara intonganya n’intambara.
Benshi usanga batongana kuko bashaka ko ibyabo ari byo byumvwa, cyangwa bagatongana byo kwirengera.
Intonganya zihoraho, urutoto n’incyuro nabyo biri mu bisenya ingo, bikangiza urukundo hagati y’abashakanye. Kubirwanya ni ugushyira inyungu zanyu mwembi imbere, ntihabeho ndigabo no gukurura wishyira gusa.
5. Gucyeka
Usanga hari ingo zisenyuka kuko umwe mu bashyingiranywe atizera uwo bashyingiranywe, cyane cyane kuri za terefoni n’ibizivugirwaho cyangwa byandikirwaho. Uku gucyeka bijyana no gufuha ugasanga ufuhirwa ahozwa ku nkeke bikamubuza amahoro n’umutekano. Iyo abuze uko agira ahitamo gusaba gatanya kuko aba abona aribwo yagira amahoro.
6. Kutubahiriza inshingano z’urugo
Kuva ku guhaha, guteka, gusasa kugeza ku gukora imibonano, izi ni zimwe mu nshingano z’urugo bamwe bagera aho ntibibuke ko ari izabo. Ugasanga umukozi niwe umenya ko imyenda iteye ipasi, niwe umenya ibiri butekwe n’ibyashize, ugasanga mu buriri musigaye mwibereye nk’abasangiye icyumba gusa. Ibi byose biba biganisha ku kubona ko hari ikibura, bitera umwe kuba yabishakira ahandi cyangwa se kwaka gatanya.
Nibyo koko gushaka imibereho bituma hari ibyo dushinga abakozi ngo babidufashe ariko hari inshingano ziba zireba nyirurugo bwite.
Gutemberana, gusohokana no gusangirira hamwe ni bimwe mu bigarura uburyohe mu rukundo no mu rugo.
7. Kutuzuzanya
Ihame ry’ubwuzuzanye mu rugo ni ingenzi kuko burya ababana baba bakwiriye kuzuzanya dore ko no mu Kinyarwanda cyiza, uwo mwashakanye yitwa umufasha (partner). Umufasha mu kazi ntiwafata umwanzuro utamubwiye, ntiwakora ibintu uko ubyumva. No mu rugo niko byagakwiye kugenda. Mu bitekerezo, mu biganiro, muri gahunda zose ni ingenzi ko imyanzuro yose mufata muba mwayumvikanyeho.
Iyo bitubahirijwe rero, ugasanga umwe aratwama undi, aramujambuza, arasuzugura ibitekerezo bye, biba biganisha ku mibanire mibi kandi ibi amaherezo yabyo ni gatanya.
8. Gushaka utiteguye
Gushaka utiteguye tuvuga hano, ni ugushaka utazi ibyo ugiyemo, rimwe na rimwe kubera igitutu cy’imiryango, kwigana abandi, guhubuka se, nuko wamara kugera mu rugo ugasanga ibintu ntibiri kugenda uko wabyifuzaga.
Ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko ingo nyinshi zisenyuka ari iz’abashakanye bari mu myaka iri munsi ya 30, ndetse izirenze 50% zisenyuka bataramarana imyaka 10 babana cyane cyane hagati y’umwaka wa 4 n’uwa 8.
Gushaka uzi icyo ugiye gukora, kubanza kumenya neza uwo mugiye kubana, kutagenda ufite ibindi ukurikiye byacyemura iki kibazo.
9. Ihohoterwa
Gukubitwa, guhozwa ku nkeke, gukoreshwa imibonano ku gahato ni bimwe mu byerekeye ihohoterwa rikorerwa mu ngo. Gusinda, gukomeretsa ukoresheje ururimi (amagambo mabi) nabyo byiyongeraho mu bituma abashakanye batandukana. Ntiwavuga ko uhohotera aba ari umuntu mubi koko ariko uko byamera kose ntawe ukwiye kurebera no kwihanganira ihohoterwa iryo ari ryo ryose mu rugo.
Dusoza
Nta rugo na rumwe uzasanga abantu babana nk’abatagatifu, ahubwo uko ibibazo bicyemurwa, ukwihangana bagira ni byo bitandukana. Gusa inama nziza kuri buri rugo ni ukujya bacyemura ikibazo hakiri kare amazi atararenga inkombe. Tujya twumva abicana, abamugaza abandi ndetse n’abakorera abo bashakanye ibikorwa by’ubugome binyuranye, nyamara ugenzuye wasanga bitaba ako kanya ngo ahite afata uwo mwanzuro ahubwo biba byaratangiye buhoro buhoro hakazamo kwa kwihangana no kugoragoza, imiryango ikaza kubunga nyamara ngo umutima muhanano ntiwuzura igituza.
Ntawe twagira inama yo gusenya kuko iyo urugo rusenyutse mwaranabyaye bigira ingaruka ku bana, gusa nanone igihe cyose havutse ikibazo mu rugo kiba gikwiriye gucyemurwa mu buryo bwiza bushoboka kandi budateje akaga haba ako kanya no mu gihe kizaza.
Kuganira, kuzuzanya, gutemberana no gusangira akabisi n’agahiye, kwishimira uwo wahisemo ukamurutisha abandi bose ni bimwe mu bizatuma urugo rwawe rugira amahoro n’umutekano.
Ndabifuriza ingo nziza ku bazifite n’abaziteganya kandi abo zamaze gusenyuka, ntitwabaveba kuko nibwo buryo bushoboka mwabonye bwacyemura ikibazo.
Comments
Post a Comment