Urukundo rwawe ntiruramba ndetse abo mukundanye bose bagenda bakuvaho, umwe ku wundi. Urisuzuma nyamara ugasanga nta cyo wishinja cyaba kiri kubitera, ukumva uyobewe icyo uzira.
Ese ujya utekereza ko waba ubigiramo uruhare? Niba utajyaga ubyitaho hano twaguteguriye zimwe mu ngingo zikwereka ko ushobora kuba ari wowe utuma urukundo rwawe rutaramba.
Mu rukundo ntabwo ari ugutanga gusa ahubwo ni ugutanga no guhabwa, ni magirirane muri macye. Nyamara wsanga wowe wihiringa ngo utsindire umutima w’umuntu. Aha waba rero wibeshya kuko utakwiyumvamo nta cyo wakora ngo akwiyumvemo. Nubwo urukundo rukura, ariko ruba rwaratangiye. Niba mu maza ya mbere umuntu akwereka ko atakwitayeho, atagukeneye, urahomerera iyatetse
Aho gushaka umuntu wizeye ko azahinduka, ahubwo shaka wa wundi mwishimirana, aho gukina uw’injangwe n’imbeba
Niba wari mu rukundo rugahagarara, umuntu uje uhita umwakira ako kanya, mbese nk’uwo kuguhoza amarira. Ese ubanza gutekereza niba koko we atazagusiga nk’uwa mbere? Benshi bagwa muri uyu mutego dore ko nyuma yo gutabwa uba ukeneye ukwitaho nuko wamubona ukaba wahubuka, nyamara wenda we agenzwa n’ibindi bitari urukundo. Aha wowe uba wakira ariko ntacyo utanga kuko warahungabanyijwe, ukeneye umuhoza. Numara guhora utuje hari igihe uzasanga waribeshye, wicuze.
Si byiza guhita wakira umuntu ukimara gutandukana n’undi kuko ushobora kubabara kurenza mbere. Fata igihe ubanze urebe aho mbere byapfiriye, ubanze wikunde ubwawe, nta gihe gukundwa biba bidashoboka, n’abasaza cyangwa abakecuru barakundwa.
Mbese mbere yo gukundana ubanza kureba agafu k’imvugwa rimwe, insina ngufi, wawundi uzajya uvuga we akikiriza gusa. Wawundi utazakuvuguruza, utazakugisha impaka, mbese uzayobora. Aha rero niba ari rwo rukundo uba wishakira, waribeshye kuko uyu muzakomezanya bitari uko agukunze, ahubwo kuko agutinya cyangwa akubaha. Igihe nikigera agahumuka, azagusiga usigare usiganuza.
Niba ushaka urukundo rurambye, shaka wawundi muzahuza imyumvire, utagutinya cyangwa udatinya wowe ahubwo muhuza ibitekerezo
Hari abantu bikundira ubuzima bworoshye badashaka ibibagora. No mu rukundo ugasanga ashaka wa muntu utamugora, wa muntu ushobora kumara n’ukwezi atavuga, atazi amakuru yawe, mbese uguha umutuzo n’amahoro. Ese ubwo wumva urwo rukundo rwazaramba koko? Ifuni ibagara ubushuti ni akarenge. Ubu ho iterambere ryarabyoroheje, umuntu uramuhamagara, uramwandikira, mbese uwo ukunda akuba hafi niyo yaba atakwegereye. None se wumva niba atakwandikira, ntaguhamagare, ntimuhure, urukundo ruzaramba koko?
Hari abantu baba bumva babaho bafite inshuti kandi koko ni byiza ariko si byiza kuba wakizirika ku muntu niyo we yaba atagushaka kuko birangira byanze kandi ukababara. Wikumva ko ari itegeko kubaho ufite uwo mukundana, niyo mwaba mudahuje imyumvire. Ahubwo byiza ni ukugira uwo mukundana muhuje, aho kumugira ngo akurinde ubwigunge gusa. Uwo muri kumwe ashobora kuzitira amahirwe yawe yo kugira inshuti nyayo, kuko umwanya wawe uzaba wihariwe n’utawukwiye. Fata akanya wiherere, ujye uba uri wenyine, ni byo byiza kurenza kubana n’uwo mudahuje. Ugukwiye nihagera azaboneka
Mu rukundo hagati ya babiri habaho ibintu bya ngombwa hakabaho n’ibitari ngombwa cyane. Kuba atakwifurije amahirwe ugiye mu kizami wibyumvamo kutakwitaho, ngo ubihe uburemere nko kuba yishe gahunda mwari mufitanye atakubwiye. Biratandukanye. Kuba agusuye ntatinde wibifata nko kukubeshya. Utuntu duto duto ushobora kuba utindaho, kumubaza aho ari, abo bari kumwe, ibyo ari gukora, kumuhoza ku nkeke umwereka ko utamwizeye, n’ibindi binyuranye si byo bizamugira uwawe iteka, ahubwo urwo agukunda ni rwo rufite agaciro. Rero menya ibifite akamaro ari byo witaho
Wikumva ko John azagukunda nka Peter cyangwa ngo wumve ko Rachel azakubabaza nka Chantal. Oya buri wese ateye ukwe kandi buri wese agira ahahise he haba heza cyangwa habi. Guheranwa n’ibyakubayeho muri kahise ntabwo bizakubakira ahubwo bizagusenyera. Uwo muri kumwe ni we ugomba kwitaho, gusa ushobora kwigira ku byahise ugategura ahazaza ariko nutangira kugereranya abantu ntaho uzagera
Ese ujya utekereza ko waba ubigiramo uruhare? Niba utajyaga ubyitaho hano twaguteguriye zimwe mu ngingo zikwereka ko ushobora kuba ari wowe utuma urukundo rwawe rutaramba.
Wiruka ku muntu utaguha ibyo ushaka
Mu rukundo ntabwo ari ugutanga gusa ahubwo ni ugutanga no guhabwa, ni magirirane muri macye. Nyamara wsanga wowe wihiringa ngo utsindire umutima w’umuntu. Aha waba rero wibeshya kuko utakwiyumvamo nta cyo wakora ngo akwiyumvemo. Nubwo urukundo rukura, ariko ruba rwaratangiye. Niba mu maza ya mbere umuntu akwereka ko atakwitayeho, atagukeneye, urahomerera iyatetse
Aho gushaka umuntu wizeye ko azahinduka, ahubwo shaka wa wundi mwishimirana, aho gukina uw’injangwe n’imbeba
Ushaka abaguhoza amarira
Niba wari mu rukundo rugahagarara, umuntu uje uhita umwakira ako kanya, mbese nk’uwo kuguhoza amarira. Ese ubanza gutekereza niba koko we atazagusiga nk’uwa mbere? Benshi bagwa muri uyu mutego dore ko nyuma yo gutabwa uba ukeneye ukwitaho nuko wamubona ukaba wahubuka, nyamara wenda we agenzwa n’ibindi bitari urukundo. Aha wowe uba wakira ariko ntacyo utanga kuko warahungabanyijwe, ukeneye umuhoza. Numara guhora utuje hari igihe uzasanga waribeshye, wicuze.
Si byiza guhita wakira umuntu ukimara gutandukana n’undi kuko ushobora kubabara kurenza mbere. Fata igihe ubanze urebe aho mbere byapfiriye, ubanze wikunde ubwawe, nta gihe gukundwa biba bidashoboka, n’abasaza cyangwa abakecuru barakundwa.
Uhitamo uwo wifatira
Mbese mbere yo gukundana ubanza kureba agafu k’imvugwa rimwe, insina ngufi, wawundi uzajya uvuga we akikiriza gusa. Wawundi utazakuvuguruza, utazakugisha impaka, mbese uzayobora. Aha rero niba ari rwo rukundo uba wishakira, waribeshye kuko uyu muzakomezanya bitari uko agukunze, ahubwo kuko agutinya cyangwa akubaha. Igihe nikigera agahumuka, azagusiga usigare usiganuza.
Niba ushaka urukundo rurambye, shaka wawundi muzahuza imyumvire, utagutinya cyangwa udatinya wowe ahubwo muhuza ibitekerezo
Ntushaka ibigutesha umutwe
Hari abantu bikundira ubuzima bworoshye badashaka ibibagora. No mu rukundo ugasanga ashaka wa muntu utamugora, wa muntu ushobora kumara n’ukwezi atavuga, atazi amakuru yawe, mbese uguha umutuzo n’amahoro. Ese ubwo wumva urwo rukundo rwazaramba koko? Ifuni ibagara ubushuti ni akarenge. Ubu ho iterambere ryarabyoroheje, umuntu uramuhamagara, uramwandikira, mbese uwo ukunda akuba hafi niyo yaba atakwegereye. None se wumva niba atakwandikira, ntaguhamagare, ntimuhure, urukundo ruzaramba koko?
Ntushaka ubwigunge
Hari abantu baba bumva babaho bafite inshuti kandi koko ni byiza ariko si byiza kuba wakizirika ku muntu niyo we yaba atagushaka kuko birangira byanze kandi ukababara. Wikumva ko ari itegeko kubaho ufite uwo mukundana, niyo mwaba mudahuje imyumvire. Ahubwo byiza ni ukugira uwo mukundana muhuje, aho kumugira ngo akurinde ubwigunge gusa. Uwo muri kumwe ashobora kuzitira amahirwe yawe yo kugira inshuti nyayo, kuko umwanya wawe uzaba wihariwe n’utawukwiye. Fata akanya wiherere, ujye uba uri wenyine, ni byo byiza kurenza kubana n’uwo mudahuje. Ugukwiye nihagera azaboneka
Wita ku bidafite akamaro ukirengagiza ingenzi
Mu rukundo hagati ya babiri habaho ibintu bya ngombwa hakabaho n’ibitari ngombwa cyane. Kuba atakwifurije amahirwe ugiye mu kizami wibyumvamo kutakwitaho, ngo ubihe uburemere nko kuba yishe gahunda mwari mufitanye atakubwiye. Biratandukanye. Kuba agusuye ntatinde wibifata nko kukubeshya. Utuntu duto duto ushobora kuba utindaho, kumubaza aho ari, abo bari kumwe, ibyo ari gukora, kumuhoza ku nkeke umwereka ko utamwizeye, n’ibindi binyuranye si byo bizamugira uwawe iteka, ahubwo urwo agukunda ni rwo rufite agaciro. Rero menya ibifite akamaro ari byo witaho
Umugereranya n’abandi
Wikumva ko John azagukunda nka Peter cyangwa ngo wumve ko Rachel azakubabaza nka Chantal. Oya buri wese ateye ukwe kandi buri wese agira ahahise he haba heza cyangwa habi. Guheranwa n’ibyakubayeho muri kahise ntabwo bizakubakira ahubwo bizagusenyera. Uwo muri kumwe ni we ugomba kwitaho, gusa ushobora kwigira ku byahise ugategura ahazaza ariko nutangira kugereranya abantu ntaho uzagera
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