Mu buzima duhura na byinshi binyuranye kandi muri byo habamo ibyiza n’ibibi. Buri wese ashobora kwibuka igihe yamanitse agatoki mu ishuri nyamara ntibamubaze bakabaza utamanitse. Uribuka igihe wasabye ko ari wowe wakora ikintu runaka ariko bakaguhakanira.
By’umwihariko noneho bikaba akarusho iyo usabye urukundo bakaguhakanira aribyo bikunze kwitwa guterwa indobo. Aha ho rwose wumva umeze nk’ugwiriwe n’ijuru ku buryo iyo wari wizeye ko uri bubwirwe yego uhita umera nk’utaye umutwe. Aha hanazamo gusigwa n’uwo wakundaga akisangira undi kandi wari umaze kumwiyumvamo ko ari we waremewe.
Ibihe nk’ibi byo gutereranwa rero ntabwo twese tubinyuramo kimwe nta nubwo tubyakira kimwe. Hari abashobora kubyakira hari n’abo bigora ugasanga babaye nk’abahungabanye. Aba rero hari inama zabafasha kubasha kubivamo no kubyakira nuko ubuzima bugakomeza.
Aho kwicuza no kwirengangiza ibyakubayeho, ngo utangire uhishire ko wababaye ahubwo niba uciwe intege, utereranywe cyangwa utewe indobo emera ko koko byabayeho. Izere ko ufite ubushobozi bwo guhangana na byo kandi ko bidateze kugusubiza inyuma.
Nibyo koko gutereranwa biraryana. Nyamara kugerageza kwiyumvisha ko ari akantu koroshye aho gucyemura ikibazo bizarushaho kucyongera ndetse ububabare bwiyongere. Uburyo bwiza bwo guhangana n’ibyiyumviro bibi ni ukubanza kwemera ko byabayeho. Niba ufite ikiniga, wipfukirana ayo marira. Iherere rwose urire, uboroge, uko amarira yoza amaso, aba anacyesha ku mutima.
Ubusanzwe impamvu itera gutereranwa ni uko uba ushaka kwisanzura no kubaho uko ubyifuza. Niba uterese bakaguhakanira, biba byerekana ko wowe wifuzaga uwo muntu. Niba ari akazi ubuze ni uko wagashakaga. Niba ari umugabo cyangwa umugore ugusize wenyine ni uko wamushakaga uko ubyifuza we akabyanga. Mu buryo bwose bigaragaza ko hari uko wifuzaga ibintu ariko ntibibe ariko bigenda.
Rero nubaho utajya ugira igihe utereranwa ntuzabaho uko ushaka na rimwe kuko uko ushaka kubaho bigira uwo bibangamira. Ntuzigera umenya ko uri gusatira ku mbibi z’uburenganzira bwawe igihe cyose uzaba utarasubizwa inyuma ngo utereranwe ndetse ucibwe intege. Nuterwa indobo, ukangirwa akazi cyangwa inshuti n’abavandimwe bakagutererana niho uzamenya ko uri kubaho uko ushaka. Muri macye gutereranwa ntibikwiye kukwereka ko isi itagushaka ahubwo bikwereke ko ushaka kubaho uko wowe ushaka.
Aho kwiyita injiji cyangwa kwipfobya ngo wumve ko ibyateye gutereranwa ari uko uri mubi cyangwa udakenewe ahubwo igirire impuhwe ndetse wikomeze. Iyumvishe ko ari wowe ubwawe wo kwiyitaho no kwimenya, abandi bakaza nyuma.
Byaba ari uguhemukirwa n’uwo mwakundanye igihe kinini cyangwa se gutereranwa n’uwo wari wizeye ko ari we makiriro yawe, kwibabaza aho kugusubizamo intege bizarushaho kuguca intege. Inshuti yawe magara ugomba kwizera no kubwira byose ni wowe ubwawe. Komeza wiyumvishe unibwire ibyakubayeho, nibwo uzabasha kubifata nk’ibisanzwe noneho ubashe kubirenga
Bikunze kuba ahanini ku bantu banzwe mu rukundo aho usanga buri wese ukubonye ahita abona ko byahindutse. Bamwe biyahuza inzoga n’itabi abandi ugasanga ntibakiyitaho ku isuku. Muri iyi minsi hagezweho imbuga nkoranyambaga usanga akantu kose wanditse kagaragaza amarangamutima ufite ku buryo bahita bagusoma mu bwonko. Ibi bituma buri wese abona ko hari ibitagenze neza nuko bikabatera kukwibazaho. Niba uwo wakundaga akwanze wikumva ko utari uwo gukundwa. Niba ari umuryango ugutereranye wikumva ko ari imperuka ikugezeho. Niba ari akazi bagukuyeho ibuka ko abanyarwanda bavuga ngo umuntu abura se ntabura shebuja. Uko byamera kose ibuka ko ubuzima bugomba gukomeza kandi ukabaho neza kurenza ejo hahise. Ibi bizatuma uhangana.
Uko abantu bagufata cyangwa uko bakubona sibyo bifite agaciro, ikizima ni uko wowe uri kandi wiyizi. Kuzirikana ko iyo umuryango umwe w’amahirwe ufunzwe haba hafunguwe indi myinshi, bizagufasha. Aho guheranwa n’ibyahise, wowe reba imbere uharanire ko hakubera heza.
Umuntu ukomeye mu mutwe iyo atereranywe ahita yibaza icyo bimusigiye nk’isomo. Aho guhangana no kurwanya uburibwe ahubwo abubyaza umusaruro ndetse n’amasomo yo kubasha gukomera mu buzima buzaza. Buri uko utereranywe ukabikuramo isomo, bigufasha gukomera no kutanyeganyezwa n’ibizaza nyuma. Uwahemukiwe n’uwo yashatse abasha kwihanganira guhemukirwa n’umuturanyi kurenza uwo bitabayeho.
Rero niba watereranywe, bikuremo imbaraga n’isomo bigufashe kuzabasha guhangana n’ibizaza.
Gutereranwa bishobora guturuka n’ahantu utacyekaga ndetse ugahemukirwa n’uwo witaga inshuti magara, umuvandimwe ndetse n’umubyeyi. Urungano rushobora kugutererana ariko icy’ingenzi menya ko wowe ubwawe ari wowe ufite ubuzima bwawe muri wowe. Baho uko wumva bikubereye byiza, gusa wirinde nawe kuba wabangamira abandi nubwo rimwe na rimwe kubaho uko wumva ushaka bigira uwo bibangamira.
Icy’ingenzi ni ukumenya ko abantu bahinduka, ugutereranye uyu munsi ejo ashobora kugaruka akaba ari we mufatanya mu byiza wagezeho.
Icyakora niba wowe ubwawe utabashije kwifasha, wakegera abahanga mu mitekerereze ya muntu, abajyanama, umuntu wizeye, bakagufasha guhangana n’ibyo bihe bigoye uri kunyuramo. Iyo ubwiye umuntu akari ku mutima, wumva ubohotse.
By’umwihariko noneho bikaba akarusho iyo usabye urukundo bakaguhakanira aribyo bikunze kwitwa guterwa indobo. Aha ho rwose wumva umeze nk’ugwiriwe n’ijuru ku buryo iyo wari wizeye ko uri bubwirwe yego uhita umera nk’utaye umutwe. Aha hanazamo gusigwa n’uwo wakundaga akisangira undi kandi wari umaze kumwiyumvamo ko ari we waremewe.
Ibihe nk’ibi byo gutereranwa rero ntabwo twese tubinyuramo kimwe nta nubwo tubyakira kimwe. Hari abashobora kubyakira hari n’abo bigora ugasanga babaye nk’abahungabanye. Aba rero hari inama zabafasha kubasha kubivamo no kubyakira nuko ubuzima bugakomeza.
1. Emera amarangamutima yawe
Aho kwicuza no kwirengangiza ibyakubayeho, ngo utangire uhishire ko wababaye ahubwo niba uciwe intege, utereranywe cyangwa utewe indobo emera ko koko byabayeho. Izere ko ufite ubushobozi bwo guhangana na byo kandi ko bidateze kugusubiza inyuma.
Nibyo koko gutereranwa biraryana. Nyamara kugerageza kwiyumvisha ko ari akantu koroshye aho gucyemura ikibazo bizarushaho kucyongera ndetse ububabare bwiyongere. Uburyo bwiza bwo guhangana n’ibyiyumviro bibi ni ukubanza kwemera ko byabayeho. Niba ufite ikiniga, wipfukirana ayo marira. Iherere rwose urire, uboroge, uko amarira yoza amaso, aba anacyesha ku mutima.
2. Sobanukirwa ko gutereranwa bigaragaza ko uri kwisanzura
Ubusanzwe impamvu itera gutereranwa ni uko uba ushaka kwisanzura no kubaho uko ubyifuza. Niba uterese bakaguhakanira, biba byerekana ko wowe wifuzaga uwo muntu. Niba ari akazi ubuze ni uko wagashakaga. Niba ari umugabo cyangwa umugore ugusize wenyine ni uko wamushakaga uko ubyifuza we akabyanga. Mu buryo bwose bigaragaza ko hari uko wifuzaga ibintu ariko ntibibe ariko bigenda.
Rero nubaho utajya ugira igihe utereranwa ntuzabaho uko ushaka na rimwe kuko uko ushaka kubaho bigira uwo bibangamira. Ntuzigera umenya ko uri gusatira ku mbibi z’uburenganzira bwawe igihe cyose uzaba utarasubizwa inyuma ngo utereranwe ndetse ucibwe intege. Nuterwa indobo, ukangirwa akazi cyangwa inshuti n’abavandimwe bakagutererana niho uzamenya ko uri kubaho uko ushaka. Muri macye gutereranwa ntibikwiye kukwereka ko isi itagushaka ahubwo bikwereke ko ushaka kubaho uko wowe ushaka.
3. Igirire impuhwe
Aho kwiyita injiji cyangwa kwipfobya ngo wumve ko ibyateye gutereranwa ari uko uri mubi cyangwa udakenewe ahubwo igirire impuhwe ndetse wikomeze. Iyumvishe ko ari wowe ubwawe wo kwiyitaho no kwimenya, abandi bakaza nyuma.
Byaba ari uguhemukirwa n’uwo mwakundanye igihe kinini cyangwa se gutereranwa n’uwo wari wizeye ko ari we makiriro yawe, kwibabaza aho kugusubizamo intege bizarushaho kuguca intege. Inshuti yawe magara ugomba kwizera no kubwira byose ni wowe ubwawe. Komeza wiyumvishe unibwire ibyakubayeho, nibwo uzabasha kubifata nk’ibisanzwe noneho ubashe kubirenga
4. Wituma gutereranwa bikugaragaraho
Bikunze kuba ahanini ku bantu banzwe mu rukundo aho usanga buri wese ukubonye ahita abona ko byahindutse. Bamwe biyahuza inzoga n’itabi abandi ugasanga ntibakiyitaho ku isuku. Muri iyi minsi hagezweho imbuga nkoranyambaga usanga akantu kose wanditse kagaragaza amarangamutima ufite ku buryo bahita bagusoma mu bwonko. Ibi bituma buri wese abona ko hari ibitagenze neza nuko bikabatera kukwibazaho. Niba uwo wakundaga akwanze wikumva ko utari uwo gukundwa. Niba ari umuryango ugutereranye wikumva ko ari imperuka ikugezeho. Niba ari akazi bagukuyeho ibuka ko abanyarwanda bavuga ngo umuntu abura se ntabura shebuja. Uko byamera kose ibuka ko ubuzima bugomba gukomeza kandi ukabaho neza kurenza ejo hahise. Ibi bizatuma uhangana.
Uko abantu bagufata cyangwa uko bakubona sibyo bifite agaciro, ikizima ni uko wowe uri kandi wiyizi. Kuzirikana ko iyo umuryango umwe w’amahirwe ufunzwe haba hafunguwe indi myinshi, bizagufasha. Aho guheranwa n’ibyahise, wowe reba imbere uharanire ko hakubera heza.
5. Ibyakubayeho bikubere isomo
Umuntu ukomeye mu mutwe iyo atereranywe ahita yibaza icyo bimusigiye nk’isomo. Aho guhangana no kurwanya uburibwe ahubwo abubyaza umusaruro ndetse n’amasomo yo kubasha gukomera mu buzima buzaza. Buri uko utereranywe ukabikuramo isomo, bigufasha gukomera no kutanyeganyezwa n’ibizaza nyuma. Uwahemukiwe n’uwo yashatse abasha kwihanganira guhemukirwa n’umuturanyi kurenza uwo bitabayeho.
Rero niba watereranywe, bikuremo imbaraga n’isomo bigufashe kuzabasha guhangana n’ibizaza.
Umwanzuro
Gutereranwa bishobora guturuka n’ahantu utacyekaga ndetse ugahemukirwa n’uwo witaga inshuti magara, umuvandimwe ndetse n’umubyeyi. Urungano rushobora kugutererana ariko icy’ingenzi menya ko wowe ubwawe ari wowe ufite ubuzima bwawe muri wowe. Baho uko wumva bikubereye byiza, gusa wirinde nawe kuba wabangamira abandi nubwo rimwe na rimwe kubaho uko wumva ushaka bigira uwo bibangamira.
Icy’ingenzi ni ukumenya ko abantu bahinduka, ugutereranye uyu munsi ejo ashobora kugaruka akaba ari we mufatanya mu byiza wagezeho.
Icyakora niba wowe ubwawe utabashije kwifasha, wakegera abahanga mu mitekerereze ya muntu, abajyanama, umuntu wizeye, bakagufasha guhangana n’ibyo bihe bigoye uri kunyuramo. Iyo ubwiye umuntu akari ku mutima, wumva ubohotse.
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